"I’d rather mop the floor with my tongue."
*wakes up from coma* “tell me I dont have a unibrow”
#omg dad ur embarrassing me
#omg dad not in front of John
if i was music i’d be a single
yeah because you’re the best song on the album
yo if u dont like musical theatre thats cool but if u actually insult musical theatre in my presence dude i wont even argue with you i’ll just kill and eat you
these are probably the best pies in london